Lean on Me
by Rin Blake
Summary: On how Emmeline Vance discovered that she couldn't write her own story.
1. Stay Gold

**Stay Gold**

_**Hold on to sixteen as long as you can**_

_**Changes come around real soon**_

_**Make us women and men**_

_**\- John Mellencamp**_

* * *

" Rick why can't you come to King's Cross?" a small girl demanded. She pouted at her older brother with a disbelieving expression. A tall man with cropped chestnut hair smiled at her. His steel-blue eyes met her icy blue ones with a nostalgic gleam.

" Mel I'm leaving for the States tonight. You're going to Hogwarts tomorrow. I assure you that you'll be able to make loads of friends without me," the man assured. Emmeline sighed and pulled on the button of her shirt with a reluctant expression.

" You'll write to me Rick. Right?" Emmeline asked in a soft voice. Her brother's dimples pulled into a tight smile as he leaned down to his small sister. Emmeline hugged the material of her shirt as Rick knelt next to her.

" Of course I will Mel. I want to know everything. You've got to be my little reporter and tell me about how your teachers and classes are going," Rick declared with a grin. Emmeline's thick lips pulled into a wide smile as she nodded eagerly. Her brother ruffled the mess that was her hair with a chuckle.

" Now tell me what house you want to be in," Rick ordered. Emmeline jumped up and sat against the headboard of Rick's bed. She loved Rick's house in the Vance Estate more than she liked her own. Rick had a perfect view over the small river that marked the cut off between the Vance Estate and the small village of Aiden. Emmeline spent most of her life in the small muggle village or in the Vance Estate.

Unlike most pureblood estates, the Vance Estate wasn't an old and large estate. It held a certain distinction to it since a river bordered two of its sides. On the other two sides was a thick forest that spread over a ten-mile radius. The Vance Estate was made of three houses.

The main one was the original Manor house of the Vance family. It had been reduced to a fraction of its size during a fire created by a Common Welsh Green a century ago. Emmeline's great-grandfather decided to create an estate instead of a manor. He built a large Victorian house that sat in the entry of the land. Emmeline's family called it Rydal for one of her ancestors. Emmeline and her parents lived in Rydal.

The second house was more of a cottage of sorts. It held a certain charm and honeysuckle plants clung to the walls of the house. It was named for the various Willow trees that grew along the path leading to the house. Emmeline was hoping to live in Willow Cottage when she turned sixteen. A Vance family tradition was giving the children one of the houses to live in. Rick moved out of Rydal when he was fifteen and took over the third house, Summerset.

Summerset was a Mediterranean house that sat close to the river. It held a small rocky beach and the boat dock. Rick spent his summers swimming in the Vance River every morning. Emmeline remembered the days when he took her for boat rides early in the morning fondly.

Emmeline loved Summerset since she could see the sun rising from the glass back walls of the house. She loved it since it was where Rick was. Emmeline's heart panged slightly; Rick was leaving to work in the Auror department in the States the next day. He graduated from Hogwarts only two months ago and he was already leaving Emmeline behind to make his own life.

Emmeline was so jealous of Rick. He wasn't trapped in a betrothal to some snotty pureblood like she was. Emmeline bit her lip at the memory of her Entrance to Society Ball. She enjoyed meeting several witches her age like Alice Prewitt and Natasha Goyle. Emmeline didn't enjoy meeting Adam McKinnon her betrothed.

The first thing she noticed about Adam was the way his eyes gleamed with adventure. The second thing Emmeline noticed about Adam McKinnon was his hand tugging on her hair as he teased her about her chaotic curls. Emmeline's parents were ashamed when their daughter proceeded to throw a piece of cake on Adam and he soon followed in her actions.

Emmeline was dreading Hogwarts since she would have to go to school with Adam. But she wasn't going to let a stupid boy get in the way of her dreams. Emmeline Vance wasn't afraid of anything. She remembered the story of her father telling her about their ancestors battling dragons and forcing them to retreat to the Mountains of Wales. She was Emmeline Vance, descendant of dragon slayers; she wasn't afraid of anything.

" I'm going to be in Gryffindor since I'm not afraid of anything," Emmeline declared with a wide smile. Her brother frowned at her and spoke.

" Even Merlin and Dumbledore have their fears Mel. It's okay to have fears; they're what make us strong," Rick answered. Emmeline didn't think much of his words on that warm August morning. But those words would come back to her six years later when she was battling death eaters in the Ministry of Magic. When a violent green light sprinted for her figure, Emmeline's thoughts disappeared and the words of her brother came to her mind right as Adam McKinnon grabbed her and shoved her to the ground.

Those words echoed in her mind when she turned and saw the spell hit Lucian Gastor in the chest. Those words ripped into her mind as Lucian's gold eyes met hers and she watched him whisper his last words. Those words scared her forever when the light in Lucian's eyes died and realization hit her; she wasn't invincible. Emmeline Vance, descendant of dragon slayers, was just a girl.

* * *

Emmeline never felt small. She was also the person in charge of the world. But when she stood in the middle of King's Cross Station, Emmeline couldn't help but feel insignificant. Hundreds of people walked through the walls of the train station and each of them had their own paths. Emmeline was just one of them.

She tucked her hand inside of the warm one of her dad's and walked with him to Platform 9 ¾. Garrett Vance was a stocking man with a head of salt and pepper hair and striking ice-blue eyes. His hair was cropped to his head and he towered over most people. Emmeline thought her dad was invincible. Her mum walked on her other side. Emmeline could feel her mum's stare on her head.

Rick looked more like their mum, Lynette, than Emmeline did. Emmeline was tall and thin. She had her dad's curls and eyes. Rick had their mum's steel-blue eyes and sunflower blonde hair. Emmeline's hair had highlights of auburn and caramel but she didn't seem to notice that

Emmeline was upset since Rick couldn't come to King's Cross. He was of in the States fighting Dark Wizards. Emmeline's parents hadn't been too happy with Rick's move and job choice. Her parents worked in the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. They both held a certain level of high society from their family lines and history. Rick told Emmeline that their parents weren't purists but they were afraid of the death eaters so they tried to convince people that they supported death eaters by forcing Emmeline into a betrothal.

Emmeline sort of hated her parents for doing that. She hated her dad for not being invincible and she hated her mum for swaying in the wind. But when she was eleven, Emmeline thought the world of her parents.

" Butterbeer you've got everything right? Rick forgot to pack clothing his first year and wore the same ones for three days," her mum asked as they crossed into Platform 9 ¾ . Emmeline clenched her long fingers around the handle of the cart she was pushing; her mum could be so embarrassing sometimes.

" Mum don't call me that! I'm not Rick, I packed everything and I'm sure. I'll brush my teeth twice a day and write home once a week. I'm going to eat a healthy diet and do all of my homework. I'm Emmeline Vance, I know how to take care of myself," Emmeline declared. Her mum nodded and pulled her in for a tight hug.

" You're growing up too quickly butterbeer. Come home for Christmas. Michael wants to hear everything about Hogwarts," Mrs. Vance stated. Emmeline smiled at her mum's notion of her cousin Michael Wood.

Michael was eager to go to Hogwarts but he was one year younger than Emmeline. She promised him that she would write to him about the Great Hall and the sorting ceremony when he visited the Vance Estate.

" I will mum. I'll see you at Christmas," Emmeline finished. Her mum leaned up from their embrace and planted a kiss on Emmeline's cheek. Emmeline pushed her mum away and grabbed the handle of her cart with excitement.

" Are you scared?" her dad asked from her side. Emmeline turned to him and met his eyes with a set expression. His fingers scratched the surface of his rough beard as he looked down at his daughter.

" No but I have this weird feeling in my stomach. It's like a volcano is erupting inside of my stomach," Emmeline admitted. Her dad nodded and turned to the glossy red train with a pensive expression.

" You're not like your mum or me. You're different Emmeline and don't forget that. You're going to be brave and make a difference in this world just like your brother. Don't let anyone keep you from doing that," Her dad ordered.

" I won't dad. I am Emmeline Vance after all," Emmeline answered. Her dad smiled and pulled her into his tight embrace. Emmeline lingered for a moment and tried to absorb the scent of her dad. He smelled like the grass outside of Rydal and the coffee he drank that morning.

" I'll see you at Christmas Emmeline. Be brave my little chestnut," her dad finished. Emmeline nodded and turned to the train. She didn't look back as she raced for her future.

* * *

When Emmeline was older, she would look back at memories of her youth with bitter smiles. She spent her youth fighting against her youth. Emmeline would've wasted her youth if it were not for Adam McKinnon.

* * *

On the train, Emmeline sat with Alice Prewitt, a girl she met during her Coming of Age Ball. Alice's cousins, Gideon and Fabian joined them with their friends from Charms School, Frank Longbottom and Adam McKinnon.

Emmeline left the train with her courage wavering from spending the ride with her enemy. At the sorting ceremony, she was the last of her friends to get sorted. She sat on the stool with her feet poised against the floor. When the hat declared Gryffindor, Emmeline couldn't have been more proud.

When she looked at the table of proud students Emmeline couldn't help but look for her brother's face. She could see him sitting in the middle of the table wearing a grin as she was sorted, but Rick was gone.

Months went by and Rick wrote to Emmeline almost everyday. She excelled in History of Magic and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Emmeline became close friends with Alice Prewitt and her dorm mates. Adam McKinnon was in all of her classes and continued to torment her. Older students had to pry the two from each other when they fought in the common room. She went home for Christmas and spent the week with Michael at Wood Manor up in Scotland since their parents had loads of work.

Emmeline loved her cousin but his questions were annoying. All he did was complain about the boys in his Charms School. Emmeline really didn't care much for James Potter and Sirius Black. She remembered her parents informing her that Sirius Black was betrothed to Adam's younger sister. But Emmeline didn't care much for the likes of Adam McKinnon. She had castles in the clouds, and Emmeline spent most of her time trying to pull them down to earth.

First year flew by in a mess of fights and classes. Emmeline got her first detention when Adam picked a fight with Cassius Gastor and she was tried to pry the two boys off each other. She and Adam still didn't get along. Rick's letters grew shorter as he had so much work. Emmeline's grew longer since she had so much to write about.

She spent the summer with Michael at Vance Manor. Rick couldn't take a break from work so he remained in the States. Emmeline couldn't help but feel slightly abandoned; Rick was her brother above all, she adored him and now he was gone.

Towards the end of the summer, Emmeline became a bit more astute. She noticed the potions and the long naps her mum took. She noticed the haggard state of her mum and felt salt lick at her heart when her mum was feeling too ill to go to King's Cross. Her father took her and Michael to the station since Michael's parents were on a mission.

It was then that Emmeline vowed to always be there for her cousin. She wasn't going to abandon Michael like Rick did to her. But when second year started, Emmeline's life changed for the worse. The Daily Prophet brought word of massacres across the country. Emmeline didn't buy the stories of accidental magic or muggle terrorists. She knew that the journalists were hiding a message in their words; and Emmeline was the only person who could decode it.

Emmeline was oddly surprised when she found out that Michael had befriended Marlene McKinnon and Benjy Fenwick. The trio made an odd pair. Benjy was the brains, Michael was the brave, and Marlene was the beautiful one. From the second Emmeline laid eyes on Marlene she couldn't help but be jealous of her fiancé's sister.

Emmeline walked with a straightforward confidence and had a loud and clear voice. Marlene walked as though she was dancing and held a voice that captured other people's attention. Adam still teased Emmeline for having pale skin and curly hair. Emmeline started to pull her hair into tight buns and used skin-darkening charms.

Rick's letters came twice a month with short words regarding her last letters. Emmeline didn't let anyone see her distraught over her brother. That Christmas, Emmeline was forced to dance with Adam at the annual ball. She spent the entire night looking at the doors waiting for Rick to walk in with his standard grin and wise words. He never came. Instead James Potter and Jason Gastor dumped a liter of pumpkin juice on Emmeline. She felt the sticky liquid trickle down her dress and the tears pounded from her eyes.

When Emmeline returned to school, she started collecting articles from the Daily Prophet. She used a gluing charm and stuck them to a journal when she studied the words in them. The way the reporters wrote held an edge of sarcasm and exaggeration. Emmeline got headaches from the amount of time she spent pouring over the letters.

Emmeline ended second year by slapping Adam McKinnon across the face and calling him one of the insults she read in a book. Professor McGonagall assigned her two detentions for using those words.

During the summer, Emmeline noticed the dark gloom overlooking Vance estate. She didn't miss the pale skin of her mum and the thin state of her hair. Emmeline didn't miss the worried look in her father's eyes or the way he held her mum like she was about to break.

Emmeline started to investigate this and within two months figured it out. Her mum was ill and no one told her. She could see the potions and the lies her parents told. It took a little research for Emmeline to figure out that her mum had a deadly case of Dragon Pox. The first thing she did was go to Summerset. Emmeline hadn't been in Summerset since the day she and Rick talked in the morning. She stood in front of the door to Rick's bedroom and cried. Tears pounded from her eyes when Emmeline realized how twisted the world was.

Reporters had to hide the truth behind fake words. Her brother was too busy with his own life to write back to her. Her dad spent his time worrying about her mum and her mum was dying. Michael never saw his parents since they were always working. Adam McKinnon continued to torment Emmeline.

When she returned to school for her third year, Emmeline disappointed her parents for the first time. She chose to take Muggle Studies and Ancient Ruins. Her entire family took Care of Magical Creatures as one of their electives but Emmeline wanted to be different.

It was too bad that the only other one of her friends who took Muggle Studies was Adam. He sat across the room with a group of Ravenclaws and shot letters at Emmeline's head. She ignored him and continued her life.

Emmeline was surprised to see that Adam and Marlene made the Gryffindor Quidditch team when Michael did. She went to the first game and saw that Adam flew with grace. Emmeline wore a large red blush for the rest of the evening.

That year, Adam McKinnon turned into a man whore. He went to Hogsmeade with girls from every single house and held an air of tousled looks. Emmeline was alone. Alice and Frank admitted to have crushes on each other and went on dates. Fabian and Marlene shot each other longing stares when Sirius Black wasn't around. Even Michael snogged a few girls.

But Emmeline wasn't asked out once. Her height and build made her stand out against her peers. All of her classmates started to fill out. Their hips widened and their chest grew. Emmeline shot up in height and stayed a reedy build. Adam didn't even look her way.

She holed up in the library analyzing articles when her friends were out on dates. Emmeline still wrote to Rick but he never wrote back. She never gave up on him but her hope was fading.

Word of Death Eaters broke out in their society. Emmeline heard about people like Rodolphus Lestrange and Julius Gastor bearing the dark mark of the death eaters. Emmeline just stopped listening to the world around her. She took a quill in her hand one day and started writing.

Third year sped by and Emmeline saw how plain she was. Marlene was the pretty one. Michael was the brave one. Frank and Adam were the leaders. Alice was the kind one. Gideon was the quiet voice of sanity and Fabian was the joker. Benjy was the smart one. Emmeline was just plain old Emmeline Vance.

Emmeline spent the summer writing and reading. She lost herself in words and let her mind drown under books. She read the_ Iliad_ and wanted to be like Hector rather than Paris. Emmeline didn't want to start a war for love.

Her mum was even worse. But her parents never told her anything. They pretended like everything was fine. On a warm July night, Emmeline confronted her parents and found out that her mum only had months left. She also found out that Rick knew and he refused to come home. Emmeline moved out of Rydal and went to Willow Cottage the next morning.

Emmeline didn't write to her friends that summer. She didn't read the letters they wrote her. She was lost in her own world of pain and betrayal. Emmeline picked up _Julius Caesar _and wondered who was her Brutus. She wrote so much that her hands were stained a permanent shade of blue.

Her parents never asked her to come to Rydal. They didn't know that Emmeline left Willow Cottage in the middle of August and went to Aiden. It was there that she met Stephen. He was a muggle who went to Oxford. Due to Emmeline's height, he believed her when she told him that she was seventeen. It was her first crush. Stephen was majoring in Literature and analyses of Shakespeare.

Emmeline spent the rest of the month sneaking out of Vance Estate and meeting Stephen in a small café in Aiden. She told Stephen all sorts of lies though. But they were close to true. Thanks to Emmeline's year in Muggle Studies and her love of Muggle Literature, Stephen was under the impression that her parents worked as Environmentalists studying the forest surrounding Aiden. He also thought that Emmeline's brother was a government agent in the States. Emmeline knew that her lies would catch up to her, but she loved the way Stephen could paint a picture with words. She loved the way his hair stuck up in a chaotic mess and how his dark eyes sparkled at any mentions of _Othello_ or _Hamlet_.

The week before Hogwarts starting, death eaters came to Aiden. Emmeline was in the café when they attacked. It was only luck that Pericles Gastor recognized her right before George Avery tried to kill her. But they killed Stephen in a flash of green light.

Emmeline went to King's Cross alone that year. She wrote one last letter to Rick before letting one of the house elves apparate her to the station. She didn't even say good-bye to her mum or dad. Her heart was burdened with Stephen's death and the sounds of the death eaters. She entered Platform 9 ¾ with a mournful expression, right as she walked into someone.

Emmeline blinked as she craned her head up and met a pair of shocked blue eyes. She could feel Adam McKinnon tracing her figure with surprise.

" Vance is that you? Where have you been all summer?" Adam demanded. Emmeline faintly noticed that he had changed over the summer. Adam shot up and towered over her tall form. He was muscular from hours of Quidditch and held a certain air of maturity. His eyes were filled with a hidden gleam and Emmeline clenched her hands around her cart's handle.

" I'm not in the mood for your immaturity McKinnon. I've had a shitty summer," Emmeline declared. She turned and began to walk away from him.

" Emmeline we heard about your mom. I'm sorry," Adam called from behind her. Emmeline froze and felt him place a hand on her shoulder. She grabbed her wand and pressed it into his neck with distaste.

" My mum was sick for three years Adam. She and my dad didn't tell me for three years. I don't particularly care about her anymore," Emmeline spat. Adam froze with shock as Emmeline shoved him away and headed for the train. She shoved her luggage into an overhead compartment and sat alone. Her finger tore open a book and Emmeline felt tears escape her eyes when she saw the name of the book she grabbed; it was _Hamlet_.

* * *

Emmeline walked off the train alone and had puffy eyes. She saw Michael staring at her with concern and swallowed the love she felt for him. Rick abandoned her, Michael just stood and watched her with concern. Emmeline was lost in her own misery.

She froze when she saw Cassius Gastor walking with Natasha Goyle. Her fingers clenched around her wand. She remembered the smoking remains of Aiden and Stephen's glassy eyes. A burst of anger filled Emmeline and she wanted to destroy something. Her fingernail ripped into the skin of her palms and Emmeline felt stabs of shooting pain lance through her.

She wanted to feel something. Emmeline couldn't fell anymore. She was numb to everything. The pain was something and Emmeline was willing to take anything.

Fourth year started with a bang, literally. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin set off several Filibuster fireworks in the middle of the sorting ceremony. Emmeline was quiet in class. She took notes and answered questions when she was asked. But she was numb.

Emmeline avoided her friends and knew that Alice was staring at her with hurt. Adam McKinnon watched with concern and Emmeline wanted to hit him. He had no right to worry for her; she survived without him or anyone for the matter.

During November Emmeline screamed at a group of first year Hufflepuffs for being too loud in the hallway. She could feel Gideon and Fabian watching her with something close to anger as she strutted off. It was after that event that Slytherins started to call her the ice bitch of Gryffindor.

Emmeline didn't care. She sat alone at dinner with scars staining her palms one night when a fifth year leaned across her and grabbed a sharp knife to cut his steak. He sat down and the knife hit Emmeline's hand and created a large gash. She gasped with pain and students looked over at her as she examined the injury.

She heard someone sit up and the fifth year apologize. But Emmeline wasn't paying attention to that. She could feel again. Emotions filled her. Disappointment for her parents. Betrayal for her brother. Hatred for the death eaters. But most importantly disgust for herself. Emmeline Vance had fallen so low.

She let Kingsley Shacklebolt escort her to the Hospital Wing. She let Madam Pomfrey heal her. She left the hospital wing and entered the Gryffindor Common Room. Her old friends stood near the window and turned to her with worried expressions. But the one that disturbed her the most was Adam's.

His blue eyes looked agonized, as though he could feel her pain. Emmeline wondered why he was so upset; his hand hadn't been sliced open by a steak knife. She frowned at her friends and brushed past them.

It was two months later when Emmeline sat at breakfast when the letter arrived. She could feel eyes on her; Emmeline Vance never received any letters. Her hands reached for the letter and pried it open. Emmeline read the letter with disinterest and closed it when she was done. She continued her meal and ignored the stares from her friends.

" What did it say?" a voice demanded. Emmeline looked up and saw that Michael was standing next to her with crossed arms. She blinked at him; when did he get so tall? He reached out and shook her shoulder with anger. Emmeline felt a memory brush her mind; Michel did have a temper from his dad.

" She's my aunt Emmeline. I love her and even if you're acting like such a bitch you love her. You promised me that you would be there for me Emmeline. But this summer you just disappeared and returned like a zombie. You're supposed to be my family. But now you're just like your brother," Michael spat.

Emmeline stood up and slapped him across the face in anger. He clutched his face and the sound echoed across the hall as people stared at the two. Her hands shook with rage as she clenched them. Emmeline felt her nails pierce her skin and the pain encouraged her.

" She's alive you bastard. They found some stupid treatment and she is in recovery in Mungos. I don't understand why you would want to know though. I know your parents don't love you and think that you're a burden but that doesn't mean that my parents are some sort of replacement for you," Emmeline hissed.

Michael's eyes filled with hurt as she grabbed her bag and moved past him. She took sharp steps and held her head up. She was Emmeline Vance and she wasn't scared of anything.

" I know about Stephen Emmeline. You should watch where you leave those notebooks of yours. I'm sure that you wanted to keep your little summer romance a secret," Michael announced from behind her. Emmeline froze and felt an unholy blush cover her cheeks. She looked to the Gryffindor table and met Adam's stare. His body trembled and he looked so hurt.

Emmeline turned and fled from the Great Hall. People spoke about her. She was the bitch who broke Adam McKinnon's heart. Emmeline scoffed at those rumors; Adam didn't care for her. She didn't know that she had changed over the summer.

Her body filled out and students envied it. Her eyes that seemed too big for her head, now gave her a doe-like innocence. Her lips were swollen and boys stared at them in envy. Her classmates watched her walk through the Great Hall with some sort of unholy pride; she was Emmeline Vance and she wasn't scared of anything.

* * *

Emmeline went home for Christmas. She saw her parents waiting for her at King's Cross and brushed past them to one of the house elves she summoned. The week was brutal for her. Her parents watched her with mournful expression. Emmeline knew that they were waiting for her to break.

She went to the Christmas Ball and wore a dark blue dress. It showed the body she worked to hide and Emmeline avoided most people that night. She headed for the large library in the Black Manor and holed herself up there.

" It seems easy to escape reality by reading," a voice commented. Emmeline looked up from the book she held in her hands and blinked at the man standing in front of her. He wore a set of black dress robes and a gold tie. His hair was a chaotic mess of golden curls and his eyes looked like liquid gold.

Emmeline saw a few wrinkles near his eyes that told her he liked to smile a lot. The man looked slightly younger than her father but he carried an air to his walk that suggested he was mature.

Emmeline recognized the crest on his lapel and stared at him in shock. What was William Gastor doing in a library during one of the most important nights in pureblood society?

He smiled at her expression and sat on the floor across from her. Emmeline Vance was shocked to see that he spread his legs out and plucked a book from the shelves with a graceful movement.

" My wife is more of a socialite than I am. I prefer a good book to discussion about how rich the Malfoys are. No offense to you though. Your mother is a Malfoy," William mused. Emmeline nodded and his eyes lightened.

" My sons aren't the biggest book fans. Well other than Pericles and Cassius. But Pericles has to make connections for his career and Natasha Goyle is dragging around Cassius the ball forcing him to interact with humans instead of books. My wife, well she is always writing but she prefers art to books," William continued.

" I used to enjoy these balls but they all sort of blend together," Emmeline sniffed. William frowned and closed his book. Emmeline watched as his hands shoved a few wild curls from his eyes.

" You're too young to be so bitter Miss Vance. When I was your age I spent these balls dancing until my feet bled," William mused. Emmeline frowned at his tone and held her head up.

" I don't want to be young. I hate being so ignorant. I hate that people treat me like a child and that I'm expected to do whatever my parents want me to," Emmeline answered.

" You're so wrong Emmeline. Being young is about being ignorant. It's about creating morals and ideals that will define you for the rest of your life. It's about exploring the world and treasuring everything it gives you," William corrected.

" I'm tired of letting people lie to me and hide things. I'm tired of everybody worrying about me. I just want to be left alone," Emmeline spat. William's eyes filled with a fatherly wisdom and he sat up with a serene expression.

" I used to be just like you. I wanted to escape the world and I hated it for taking so much from me. I lost so much when I was young and I spent my youth trying to be an adult. Someone made me realize that being young is something to hold onto until it slips from your fingers. When you're young everything seems to glow. Don't waste that light on trying to escape the world,' William advises.

Before Emmeline could say anything someone walked in on them. Emmeline looked up and saw a poise redhead standing at the end of the library with an amused grin. Emmeline had never seen a prettier person. Even Marlene McKinnon would look dull compared to the woman in front of her. The woman's eyes were a brilliant shade of grass green. William's eyes filled with love as he stood and walked over to the woman with love in his eyes.

" Will you have time at home to live in a library so why do you do it now? Mrs. Black is sure that you're off with her husband drinking," the woman asked. Emmeline heard a light accent rip through her words.

" I was having a discussion with Emmeline Vance. She's Garrett's daughter. Emmeline this is my wife Delphina," William introduced. Emmeline stood up and blushed with embarrassment. She could feel the woman's eyes analyzing her before she smiled.

" You're the writer. Your mum is always talking about how much you write at all the parties and brunches," Delphina declared.

" My mum talks about me?" Emmeline asked with a dry mouth. Delphina let out a peal of musical laughter and William smiled at her.

" Lynn is so proud of you Emmeline. I visited her when she was in the hospital and all she did was talk about the stuff you wrote and the notebooks you keep. She's so proud of you Emmeline," Delphina gushed.

Emmeline nodded and felt something fill her. It was an emotion she hadn't felt in such a long time; it was guilt.  
" It was grand meeting you Emmeline but my sons are causing havoc. I've got to get them out before Jason tries to slip some potions he and his friends made into the champagne," Delphina finished. She pulled Emmeline in for a warm hug. Something about Delphina Gastor made Emmeline trust her.

" I'll get Lucian and Cassius you get Jason," Mrs. Gastor bargained. Her husband scoffed and brushed a lock of her hair from her temple.

" That's not fair. Getting Jason means going on a goose chase with him across London all night," Mr. Gastor grumbled. His wife smiled mischievously and left the room before he could argue. He ran a hand through his messy curls and smiled at where his wife once stood. Emmeline felt embarrassed for being in the same room as them; they were so in love and that was clear from the looks and small touches they exchanged.

William turned to her with a small smile. She tugged on material of her dress and he cleared his throat.

" There's still time for one last dance Emmeline. I'm sure that there is someone who is waiting to dance with you," William declared. Emmeline nodded and brushed a piece of lint from her dress.

" Was Mrs. Gastor the person who made you realize that you wanted to hold onto your youth?" Emmeline asked. William's lips spread into a grin and he nodded.

" Yes she was. I think that there's a young man out there who wants you to realize the same thing Emmeline. I also think that he is in the ballroom waiting for you," William Gastor declared.

" I don't know about that. But there is someone that I owe an apology to," Emmeline answered.

" Don't give you on yourself Emmeline. You have your entire life ahead of you. Don't waste a moment of it," William finished.

" Thank you. Maybe we'll meet at the next ball in a library," Emmeline offered.

" I'm not too sure about that. I'm sure that you'll be busy with your friends by then," William answered. Emmeline didn't disagree but she didn't agree. Instead she left the room and William Gastor as she raced down the hall.

She reached the ballroom with slightly red cheeks and looked around with hectic eyes. Her eyes landed on Michael's figure but they jumped away to Adam's body. Adam sat at a table talking to his sister and Alice. Emmeline watched as he brushed a lock of his hair back and laughed at something Marlene said. He looked up and met her eyes.

His eyes filled with a challenging notion before he turned back to his friends. Emmeline ignored the pain in her chest and stood in the middle of the ball with a confused expression. She was Emmeline Vance. She wasn't supposed to be afraid of Adam McKinnon. But his eyes sent butterflies into her stomach that exploded from the volcano already there.

Emmeline could hear the song ending. She had a choice but not much time. There was one song left in the ball. Emmeline could choose someone she knew for her entire life. She could choose to dance with Michael and heal those wounds. Or she could choose to dance with Adam. Dancing with Adam was so risky but it made Emmeline's heart thud rapidly against her chest.

Sweat formed in her palms as she took a deep breath. Emmeline let her heart guide her to the person she needed the most.

" Michael?" Emmeline said in a quiet voice. Her cousin looked up and met her eyes with a troubled expression. Emmeline could feel the stares of her friends as she toyed with fingers.

" Will you dance with me?" Emmeline asked in a quiet voice. Her friend smiled softly before standing and accepting her hand.

" Of course Emmy," Michael said. His words sealed that night. Emmeline and Michael would never be the same again. She abandoned Michael for half a year. She promised to be there for him and she couldn't keep her promise. She and Michael would be friends but their almost sibling bond was lost forever.

* * *

Emmeline returned to school with a new perspective on life. She didn't speak to her parents when she left but she did smile at her mom as she let a house elf apparate her to King's Cross. She wasn't ready to forgive them yet but with time she would be.

School was strange for Emmeline. She was too afraid to speak to her friends but Michael was there for there. Something changed in him but Emmeline couldn't tell what it was. He seemed slightly off, as though he was struggling to hold himself together.

Winter faded and spring came. Emmeline spent her days doing classwork and decoding the messages in the Daily Prophet. She and Alice started to make progress. Alice spoke to her in the morning about the weather. It was enough for Emmeline.

Adam's stare was killing her. It was filled with hate and disgust. Emmeline knew that he hated her. She started to watch him in class. Emmeline noticed that he preferred Shepard's Pie to Yorkshire Pudding and how his eyes always glanced at the window. She saw his eyes fill with satisfaction whenever there were puffy clouds in the sky. Emmeline wanted to ask him why he liked great big white clouds, but she was afraid to.

She noticed the way he bit his lips in Herbology since it was his worst class. Emmeline saw that he and Frank had a set of quills that they always fought over. She noticed all the little things about him but he never looked her way since the ball.

One spring Saturday, Emmeline was holed up in the library looking through a series of articles from the Daily Prophet. Michael was in Hogsmeade and Alice was still on polite terms with her. Emmeline never felt more alone. Her emotions seemed to return but they were limited to feeling sorry for herself and pain. Emmeline glanced at her palms. Small moon-shaped scars seemed to cover the skin. She bit her lip and closed her hands. Emmeline stopped hurting herself months ago but the lure of opening her skin and feeling again was still there.

She sighed and leaned over the notebook she was reading. The article about the recent attack in Cornwall didn't make much sense. Emmeline frowned at the lack of fluidity the reporter used. She noticed that some of the sentences were misplaced. Emmeline rewrote the article in an order she thought was more fitting and read the new article. Her eyes widened at the words she had arranged.

It made sense. Death eaters were attacking muggle towns as warning to the Ministry. It all made sense now. There weren't muggle terrorists; there were wizarding ones. Only this organization seemed intent on getting rid of muggles.

" Emmeline?" a voice called from behind her. Emmeline quickly shut the notebook she was reading and turned. She saw that Adam was watching her with puffy eyes. His clothing was in disarray and dirt stains covered them.

" What are you doing in here? I though libraries were for gits with stick up their arses," Emmeline sniffed. She always shoved her shields up when Adam was around. Something about him always made her angry.

" Michael got kidnapped by those death eaters. The school is on lockdown. McGonagall made me inform you," Adam quickly revealed. Emmeline blinked and felt her heart explode with pain. She clenched her hands and stood up. Emmeline took sharp breaths as Adam's words became clear to her. Michael was gone. He could be dead for all she knew. Emmeline promised him that she would be there for him. She broke her promise and never got the chance to make up for it.

Her body gave up and Emmeline fell to the ground. She felt tears escape her eyes and land against her bloody hands. A sob escaped her throat. Emmeline looked up when someone grabbed her hands and pried them open. Adam was kneeling in front of her and frowning at the cuts on her palms.

He didn't speak as he studied the scars on Emmeline's hands and held her hands in his. She let him support her as silence filled the two of them.

" Why?" Adam finally asked. Emmeline sniffled as he looked up and met her eyes with a concerned expression.

" I can't feel anything Adam. It's like my emotions got turned off and the only way I can feel anything is if I feel pain," Emmeline answered. Her voice cracked but Adam didn't seem to notice. He pulled his wand out and healed her bloody hands with a sloppy gesture. Adam was more of a Transfiguration guy than charms one.

" What happened to you Emmeline? You used to be so vibrant and now you're just washed out," Adam asked. Emmeline's jaw trembled as he stared at her with so much determination.

" I don't know," Emmeline whispered. His hands clenched around hers and he shook for a moment.

" You don't know? I don't think that's true," Adam declared. Emmeline frowned and shoved his hands away. She stood and he copied her.

" My life is shit. My mum was sick for three years and didn't bother to even tell me. My brother left the country and has a life without me. He just left me to suffer Adam. I don't even know if Michael is still alive. And I fell in love with someone who was killed by death eaters. I don't know what broke me to start with," Emmeline spat. Adam took a step back in shock and Emmeline grabbed her notebook from the table. She walked past him with trembling hands.

" Emmeline Vance you're so wrong. You know exactly what made you decide to give up," Adam declared. Emmeline turned with a murderous expression and clenched her hand around her wand.

" What is it then? If you're such a fucking genius then why don't you tell me?" Emmeline roared. Adam ignored her raged form and pulled her in for a tight hug.

" You're amazing Emmeline. You hate yourself for being so plain but you're the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I hate myself for being so stupid when I was younger. I hate myself for letting you turn into this person. But I will not let you give up Emmeline Vance. I'm going to fight for the eleven-year-old girl with long curly hair and eyes that tried to memorize every single thing about the world. I won't give up on her even though you did," Adam vowed.

Emmeline trembled as he pulled her into his chest and wove his fingers into her bun. She felt him pull the hairclip out and let her hair tumble down her back. Emmeline met his eyes as he twirled a lock of her hair around his fingers.

" You're so beautiful Emmeline. I spent a month watching you walk from class to class so I could watch curl of your hair escape that stupid bun you keep it in. I pick fights with you so your eyes gleam with so much life. You walk with this confident poise that other girls are so jealous of. But I don't care about those things. I care about the girl who has ink stained hands from all of the things she writes. I care about the girl who uses scraps of newspaper as bookmarks. I care about the girl whose eyes burn with life. I care about you Emmeline. I have ever since I first saw you. I was just too arrogant and stupid to tell you that," Adam announced.

" You're wrong Adam. That girl who you're describing, she got lost and I don't know if I can find her," Emmeline pleaded.

" Then let me find her for you," Adam offered. Emmeline shook her head and pulled her body from Adam's hold. She turned to the doors of the library with her head set.

" Adam I need a north star and I don't know if you could be mine," Emmeline finished. She left the room and a trail of her broken heart followed her.

* * *

While Michael was missing, Emmeline bonded with her old friends. Her friends took her back with open arms when she told them about what happened with Stephen. Adam clenched his jaw during that speech.

When Michael was found, Emmeline cried tears of joy. When she found out that her aunt and uncle were dead, Emmeline lost herself in her grief. But Adam didn't let her drown. At the funeral he stood next to her and let her cry on his shoulder when she saw Michael's scars from the slicing charms death eaters used on him.

During the funeral, Emmeline rekindled her relationship with her parents. Her dad and mum took her with open arms that day. Fourth year ended slowly and Emmeline hovered over Michael. Adam was like a shadow for her, but his fight and fire made Emmeline smile in secret.

She spent the summer with Michael at Vance Estate. It was that summer that the Macnairs were holding a wedding. It was then that Rick returned. Emmeline wore a light yellow dress and sat in the garden for the reception when she saw him. He walked into the garden with an air of power. A golden cloak was covering his figure, but it didn't hide the scar slashed across the center of his hand. He looked old and worn, but Emmeline didn't care.

Rick caught her eye and his eyes widened at her figure. Adam and Marlene were dancing so Emmeline was alone when Rick walked up to her. But the world seemed to pause and stare at them as Rick's steps led him to her.

" You've grown Mel," Rick commented. He wasn't expecting for Emmeline to punch him across the face. Rick let out a curse as people jumped towards them.

" You're a bastard Rick," Emmeline shouted. Her brother's eyes flashed with anger and he scowled at her.

" Mum nearly died and you didn't even write to me. You just disappeared and left me! You promised that you would stay with me. You promised Rick," Emmeline sobbed. Tears escaped her eyes as she clenched her fists tightly and Rick frowned at her.

" Emmeline I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for not coming to see mum or even visiting. I just got caught up in my life in the States. I didn't want to come back to this society," Rick explained. Emmeline noticed that a crowd was gathering around them but she didn't care.

" That's your excuse? You're pathetic. Rick I don't want to see you ever again. You need to just go back to your bloody perfect life and never come back. I hate you," Emmeline spat. She didn't wait for Rick to answer her. Emmeline turned and marched past the people in the wedding. She could feel her parents and friends watching her but Emmeline didn't care. Rick ruined her childhood. He turned her into some sort of bitter bitch.

Emmeline spent the rest of the summer trying to forget Rick's appearance. She visited Alice in Liverpool and met Fabian and Gideon's nephew. But Emmeline didn't see Adam all summer. He seemed to disappear that summer like she did the summer before.

" Butterbeer write home. Make sure to be careful. Don't get involved with the war. Let Dumbledore deal with those death eaters," her mum instructed. Emmeline nodded and hugged her mother.

" Mum this war is my war now. I'm a Gryffindor and if I have to I will fight," Emmeline answered.

" Emmeline I'm proud of you but don't do anything stupid. Just stay away from trouble," her dad ordered. Emmeline nodded reluctantly and felt someone grab her from behind. She blushed as Adam pulled in for a tight hug. Emmeline heard his mum and hers gush over them as Adam leaned towards her ear.

" We need to talk immediately," Adam whispered. Emmeline frowned but his face held an edge of extreme urgency so she nodded.

" Butterbeer! You didn't tell me that you and Adam were getting along so well," her mum gushed. Emmeline blushed as her mum's nickname as Adam took the handle of her cart with one hand and wrapped his other around her shoulder.

" It's great to see you Mrs. Vance. I'm sorry but the train is leaving soon and Emmeline and I have some catching up to do," Adam explained.

" Boy watch your hand," Emmeline's dad grumbled. Adam removed his hand from Emmeline's waist and turned to her dad.

" Sorry sir. I haven't seen Emmeline in such a long time but that doesn't excuse my behavior," Adam answered. Emmeline stared at him in shock; when he become so suave?

" Emmeline remember what we discussed. We'll see you at Christmas," her mum declared. Emmeline nodded fervently and let Adam lead her to the train. Students gawked at them; Emmeline Vance and Adam McKinnon hated each other. So why were they holding hands?

After Adam kept her luggage away, he led her to an empty compartment and shut the door behind him. Emmeline looked at his figure and noticed how old he looked for the first time. It wasn't his features really, but the way he carried himself indicated some type of burden.

" They tried to recruit me Emmeline," Adam announced. Emmeline froze just as the train started moving. She blinked and frowned at Adam. Then the meaning of his words hit her like a shard of glass. Emmeline's mouth fell open and her arms fell to her sides.

" You-know-who?" Emmeline asked. Adam nodded and leaned against one of the seats in the compartment. His body slacked against the upholster and he looked so weak. A strong urge to comfort him filled Emmeline but she shrugged it away.

" At the Brunch Mrs. Rosier had back in July Augustus Rookwood and Julius Gastor cornered me. They told me about the cause and said that the Dark Lord would appreciate a good dueler like me," Adam practically spat. Emmeline pulled her hair from its tight bun and let it fall against her back. She kneeled in front of Adam and placed her hands on his knees.

" What did you say?" Emmeline asked softly. He placed his head inside of his hands and sighed.

" I told them that I would think about it. I couldn't tell them what I really wanted to say Emmeline. If I did then they would go after my family. Marlene is safe with Black but my parents and my half blood cousin aren't safe. My mum and dad are getting pressured. Emmeline I don't know what to do. I'm fifteen for Merlin's sake! I can't kill people but I can't let them hurt you," Adam groaned.

Emmeline sat up and removed his hands from his face. She noticed that his eyes were filled with tears. When Adam McKinnon cried he didn't look like a boy. Something changed in him over the summer. He turned into a man all too early. His tears heightened his eyes and his lips turned a dark shade of red. Emmeline didn't know what happened to the playful and cruel boy of her past.

" Adam we can't be like our parents. I'm not going to teeter on the edge of neutrality; I'm going to fight. You can sit here and cry about the people who could die or you can join me. The death eaters will kill regardless of your choice. But it's up to you to decide if you want to be a fighter or a killer," Emmeline answered.

Adam's hand tightened around her own and he met her eyes with a confused stare. She changed so much. She wasn't the little girl with her hair down anymore. She didn't spend her days twirling her wand in between her fingers or laughing loudly at the smallest things. She wasn't the girl he fell in love with; she was so much more than that girl.

Emmeline changed over the summer. It was as if the confrontation with her brother broke her icy heart. She was free to feel again. Adam saw that from the moment his eyes landed on her figure. She didn't look so broken anymore. She looked almost whole. Adam hoped that he had helped her fix herself somehow.

" Emmeline Vance you're one hell of a Gryffindor," Adam murmured. Emmeline's lips pulled into a tight smile and she placed her head against Adam's shoulder. They were two broken pieces that needed each other to be whole.

* * *

Once fifth year started, Emmeline was engulfed in schoolwork. She stopped believing the stuff written in the Daily Prophet and relied on Michael's half-brother Alastor Moody to bring her the truth. She spent more time with Alice and fixed her friendship with Gideon.

The war progressed outside of Hogwarts. Emmeline knew that it was coming. It was chasing after her and every single day she got a little slower and it got a little faster. In November, Emmeline attended Evan Rosier's Coming of Age Ball. When she returned to Hogwarts Adam was trapped in a bitter anger that she couldn't understand.

" Who was Stephen?" Adam demanded one cold November night. Emmeline sat near the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room reading the works of Keats. When she looked up she saw that Adam was standing in front of her. He still wore his Quidditch uniform and was covered in a light layer of sweat. His eyes were filled with chaotic anger.

" He was a muggle that lived in the village close to my house. We spent the summer together talking about a muggle author and then Avery murdered him during a death eater massacre. There isn't much to that story Adam," Emmeline explained.

" You loved him though," Adam pointed out. Emmeline noted his bitter and hollow tone with a scoff.

" Adam you have no right to be jealous! I spent two years watching girls flock to you and being called ugly," Emmeline spat. Adam frowned and leaned down next to her. His fingers caught her hand and he forced her to meet his eyes.

" I was stupid and immature Emmeline. You're so beautiful and you don't even know that. I used to hate the way you spent every single bloody hour writing in one of your notebooks. I was jealous that you had your own world to escape to when I was forced to deal with reality," Adam explained.

" I didn't have an escape Adam. Why does everyone think that I'm some sort of writing god? I wasn't escaping reality Adam I was facing it," Emmeline exclaimed. She picked up the notebook she had close to her and threw it at Adam. He caught it and she motioned for him to open it. His brow creased as he examined the pages of the notebook.

" This entire thing is filled with articles from the Daily Prophet," Adam examined. Emmeline nodded and tugged her hair from its bun.

" I spent two years trying to figure out what the reporters were trying to say. It took me two years to decode their secret message. Read the Article from every other line and start on the second word of each sentence instead of the first," Emmeline ordered. Adam frowned as he followed her orders. His eyes lit up with amazement as he read her code.

" Merlin. That's amazing. So the reporters have written an article inside of the ones that the Ministry is forcing them to write. Emmeline you're brilliant! I doubt anyone else could figure this out," Adam commended. Emmeline nodded and pulled the notebook from his fingers.

" Adam there's a whole world out there filled with things like this. It just takes a little creativity and initiative to figure out the truth," Emmeline finished. Adam nodded and smiled at her. She smiled back and their hands were still touching. It was something as small as a notebook of secrets that took Emmeline to admit that she thought that Adam McKinnon was an okay bloke.

December came and Emmeline spent the month with Adam. She learned that he wanted to travel so badly. She thought it was fitting that she was a writer and he wanted to see the world.

Emmeline was walking to her parents on Platform 9 ¾ as the Winter Holidays were starting. Someone grabbed her and turned her. Emmeline had no time to think when a pair of incredibly soft lips met hers. She felt something inside of her shift as Adam pulled from the kiss with a goofy smile and slightly red cheeks.

" Emmeline Vance will you do me the honor of being my escort to the Christmas Ball this year?" Adam asked suddenly. Emmeline knew the meaning behind his words. Both of them skirted around their feelings for a month. They were afraid to say the words they felt; Emmeline Vance admitted that she was scared for the first time in her life. But Adam's eyes met hers and she knew what she had to say.

" Yes," Emmeline announced in her confident and clear voice. She was surprised when the Platform burst into applause and cheering. People watched them with grins and students joked about it being finally time. But Emmeline didn't pay any attention to those people. She just stared into Adam's eyes as he smiled so widely and seemed to be holding his own celebration in his eyes.

On Christmas Evening, Emmeline stood in the Longbottom Manor wearing a silver dress. She was tucked into Adam's hold as they danced. If there was one thing that Adam McKinnon couldn't do, it was dance. They swayed lightly but seemed to fit each other. Near Emmeline were pairs of dancing couples but she didn't notice them. She only had eyes for Adam McKinnon and his eyes of soul that night.

" Emmeline McKinnon has a nice ring to it," Adam whispered into her ear. Emmeline blushed as she mockingly smacked his head.

" You still haven't asked me on a date and you're already planning our wedding," Emmeline teased. Adam shot her a guilty look before he kissed her cheek.

" That's because I will love you every single day for the rest of my life. And if I die then I will love you every single moment after that. I know that you may not love me Emmeline but I love you," Adam explained. Emmeline felt an emotion so alien fill her; it was love.

She felt it wrap around her soul and tie it to Adam's. In that moment Emmeline knew that she was in love with a boy who could smile like the sun.

" I love you Adam. You saved me from breaking and made me realize that there is something golden to being young and carefree," Emmeline declared. Adam's lips curled into a wide smile. Emmeline could see the small chip in his tooth from a Quidditch accident as he smiled.

" Well that's good because I plan on making sure that you stay gold for the rest of your life," Adam answered. As he leaned in and caught Emmeline's lips in a kiss, his eyes sparkled with love. Emmeline knew that this boy was the one for her.

She didn't look for love but love wasn't something you were supposed to find. Love came after you and shot you in the heart when you were least expecting it. Emmeline Vance didn't know that a man with gold eyes glanced in her direction with a hidden smile as he twirled his wife in a dance. Emmeline Vance was too young to be so bitter; she wasn't like him he thought.

Emmeline Vance had a life ahead of her and she planned on living it to her fullest extent. She was going to built castles in the sky and drag them down to earth because she was Emmeline Vance and she wasn't afraid of anything.

* * *

**I'm sorry for not updating anything in a while. I don't believe in Writer's Block but Chapter sixteen is taking some time. I wrote most of it but it didn't seem right so I scrapped half of it and spent a week plot mapping. I have a good idea of where Confingo is heading until March of Lily's sixth year now. Hopefully Chapter sixteen will be out in two weeks...**

**This long one-shot shows a relationship that I've thought long and hard about. Adam and Emmeline didn't have the perfect love that Lily saw when she first met them; they fought for it. Lily is going to have her own fighting to do soon regarding that area. **

**Hopefully I'll finish Part two by October if all goes well!**

**Ask questions...**

**R&amp;R**

**-Rin**


	2. Giants

Giants

Plot: After finding out that Adam McKinnon, her first love, is dying, Emmeline Vance goes on a journey of salvation. Yet, instead of finding redemption for her past, she rediscovers the meaning of happiness.

* * *

Part 1 Before

She was riding on a dragon, more specifically, a Swedish Short Snout. The beast roared under her and Emmeline's veins exploded with adrenaline. She let out a soft whoop, bringing the beast low. Its wings skimmed the surface of the lake below them and it soared up into the sky.

" Come on girl," she cooed to the beast. It looped in the air and Emmeline held on tight. The sun was starting to set over the horizon and she knew she would have to get back to the Research Facility Park soon. But for now she wanted to be in the air, soaring in the sky and tasting freedom.

She stopped the dragon in the air, Emmeline's eyes frozen on the sun. The news came in the mail that morning, and Emmeline found herself up here for the entire day.

" Adam McKinnon is dying."

It wasn't her Adam really. That boy lost his soul, as a result of making the wrong gamble with fate. Dementors had sucked everything that made Adam, Adam from his body months ago. While his soul was gone, his physical body remained, a body that could get sick.

With Azkaban crammed full of old Death Eaters, the few wizards on premise hadn't noticed Adam's state until now. He wasn't going to get better, and Marlene had written asking Emmeline to come to Mungos to see him one last time.

But Emmeline didn't know if she could see him. She hadn't gone to the trail or the ceremony where the Dementors took his soul. In fact, the last time she'd seen Adam was back when she discovered he was a death eater.

In times like this she liked to remind herself of some facts.

" Vances aren't afraid of anything."

Emmeline tugged on the dragon, urging her forward into the trees. The beast roared in triumph, spiraling its form perfectly against the branches. Halsey, the Swedish Short snout, although bred in captivity, when given almost free range learned to develop the same skills wild Shortsnouts had.

It was apart of Emmeline's main paper, a discussion on if raising dragons in captivity changes their distinct flying routes. So far, she'd been to China, Indonesia, and various countries in South America, each dragon she'd chosen from the reserves only proved her point. There was something in their blood, an instinct, that made these beasts fly the way they did.

And that was including Halsey.

The sun was practically invisible in the sky, and the fading summer air wasn't as warm as usual.

" Let's go home Hals," she said, patting the dragon's side and letting Halsey take them back. At this particular reserve, the researchers were liberal with the dragons, having a large land in the Swiss Mountain region with shield charms and tracking charms on the beasts. Some places, like the ones in China, forced the marvelous creatures into cages at night and when they were not studied.

Beckett's goal was to change that. He was documenting various research facilities around the world, and would present his work to a panel of International Dragon Research Heads to show them that giving the dragons as much freedom as possible would benefit both the beasts and researchers.

Unlike, Emmeline his goal was going to be harder. The Swedish Research Lab had more funding than others, which explained the amount of freedom given to the dragons. Others had to make use with the scant funds they had.

She went into this year long project not expecting to fall in love so quickly with dragons. They were incredible creatures, much better than humans in Emmeline's opinion.

" You wouldn't betray your girlfriend would you?"

Halsey snorted and Emmeline smiled.

" Right, a little presumptuous of me to assume you'd fancy girls."

Halsey continued on and Emmeline looked up.

" What would you do?"

The summer air brushed the curls in her ponytail back and Emmeline stopped Halsey for a moment. The stars were suddenly visible and she stared at them, remembering a boy who made her feel like a star, who made her feel apart of something bigger than herself like a constellation, who made her feel loved.

" I'm scared to see him Jason," Emmeline confessed. " I didn't do right by Adam, but he didn't do right by me."

He'd used the compulsion charms of their betrothal to force Emmeline to be numb from the pain of losing so many of their loved ones during the war.

" I'm scared of going back to that."

She'd gone back to England liberally. She'd visited her friends five or so times since leaving for this year long trip and Emmeline had met up with some at the wedding this summer. But she wasn't scared of those things, no Emmeline was terrified of returning to England and the ghosts in it.

" There's still people who'll judge me- Adam's family fell apart and I ran away. I exposed his family's secret too. But he loved me, and I did too."

He was her happily ever after, but Emmeline figured that she didn't want to be young and gold forever.

She was silent, staring at the stars, wanting to fly up into them to be with Jason.

_Not yet._

Emmeline Vance was 18 years old, she still had a life to live. She had to live for Jason.

" I miss you."

The stars seemed bright that night and nothing happened, nothing ever did.

" I'll go and see him," she said, blinking hard.

As a tear fell down her cheek, the stars seemed to burn.

She reached the research lab and let Halsey fly off into the dim. Emmeline took off her riding gear and headed for the cabin she and Beckett occupied. When she got there, Emmeline was greeted with the sound of a baby laughing.

" Then the big ol' werewolf huffed, and puffed but he couldn't blow the house of the littlest kneazle down!"

" Is that an appropriate story to tell an eight month old? I mean it's a little morbid Beck."

Becket's amber eyes met hers and his face crinkled into a smile while little Oliver Wood chewed on the head of his favorite toy dragon.

" I'm trying to teach Ollie about the importance of good shelter," he answered, rising from the floor and pecking Emmeline's flushed cheek. He grinned down at her and she smiled at him.

" Good fly?"

" Grand."

Oliver threw the dragon down and toddled to it, staring at them.

" I think he's jealous," Beckett noted. Emmeline bent down and picked her nephew up. Oliver, born almost four months premature, had become a healthy toddler with the diligent care of his mother and father. But with Abilene Lestrange's recent death, Michael was left to care for his infant son on his own. Emmeline had stepped in, being Michael's cousin and practical sibling. While she and Beckett raised Oliver, Michael was to continue his time in Hogwarts, and come home often to visit his son.

He'd been worried about Oliver being on dragon research facilities, but after Emmeline's insistence that they were safe, relented.

" He's just tired, Ollie's bedtime was an hour ago," she informed Beckett. Typically, she took afternoon shifts, and he took morning shifts with taking care of Oliver. Members of their research team were more than happy to assist as well, most having their own children, being Emmeline and Becket's seniors.

" The little bugger's got me wrapped around his tiny fingers Vance," Beckett protested. Emmeline gave him a mockingly dirty look as she put Oliver down in his crib in the next room over. The cabin, with two bedrooms and a center living space, was bigger than most places they stayed in.

" He asked for him mum this morning," Emmeline said, watching Oliver start to fall asleep.

" One day we'll tell him, or maybe Michael will. But he's got us to mother him."

" You're not a mom Beck, you're the complete definition of a dad," Emmeline protested. Beckett wrapped his arms around her from behind and smiled against her shoulder.

" How so?"

" You're overindulgent and can't stand your ground against Oliver."

" He's two Acromantula Slayer," Beckett answered. " They've got hypnotic cuteness."

" He's two, you've encountered all sorts of creatures and beasts but a two year old subdues you."

Beckett shrugged and kissed her neck.

" I've got a weakness for kids," he admitted.

" I know."

Later that night, while they were setting up dinner for some members of their research team, Emmeline faced Beckett, ready to tell him her news.

" I got an owl from Marlene this morning," she started. He was levitating the plates and utensils out and nodded.

" I'm going to see Adam."

The plates crashed to the ground and Emmeline winced as glass shattered loudly. Luckily, there was a set of a one way silencing charms on Oliver's nursery, keeping sounds out, but allowing them to hear if he cried.

" Reparo," Emmeline muttered, fixing the plates. " He's dying Beckett, got some disease, I'm not too sure what the details are, but I know it's serious. They think he's got weeks to live."

Beckett took the restored plates from her and using his hands set the table.

" Do you want me to come?"

Emmeline shook her head.

" I think I'd like to stay until he passes," she explained. " Marlene's still in school and his father left the country and his mum won't see him. It's going to be a month Beck, according to what the healers are saying. It'd derail your research schedule."

" It'd do the same to yours."

" Melbourne's research records practically the same stuff as mine. Besides you lot will being going to Iceland and Wales, which are close enough for me to come by sometimes."

" And Oliver?"

" I'll take him with me," Emmeline answered. " Evelyn Malfoy wants to see him."

" Her husband was a death eater," Beckett pointed out.

" Abraxas Malfoy has been dead for ages. Besides she's the closest thing he has to family besides you, me, and Michael."

Beckett was silent, and when he finished the table came to stand in front of her.

" I think you should go," he said. " Taking Oliver might be good, give him some family time. I just don't want you to be alone in this."

He was perfect. Emmeline knew how amazing Beckett was. He matched her perfectly, fitting into her cracks and demands perfectly and bringing logic to her more extreme ideas, her doing the same to his. They balanced each other and worked well.

But he wasn't Jason. Jason grew around her, they were two trees whose limbs fit together and embraced for life. Jason didn't fit perfectly with her, but that didn't matter. The differences are what Emmeline treasured, it's what made them so amazing.

" I'll be ok," she answered, reaching up and kissing him. " I'll have Oliver and I'm sure my old friends from school will want to keep me company and entertain me- they've been begging for me to return again."

But Jason was dead, and in this world without him, Emmeline had to learn to stand on her own, even if Beckett was more than willing to support her.

* * *

It was raining when Emmeline Vance arrived in England. She could hear the rain pelting against the roof of the Ministry at the international floo stations. But her lips cracked up as she went through security.

" Like the rain?" the guard asked.

" More like missed it," Emmeline admitted. When she was finished, Emmeline shrunk all of her luggage and transfigured them into an easy-carry bag. She carried Oliver in one hand, one of his thumbs in his mouth and the other holding his stuffed dragon, Nimby, by the neck.

Emmeline continued on, some people greeting her. Both her parents had been well known and the scandal between her and Adam was huge.

" Such an adorable little boy," a witch commented in the lift. " Looks just like you."

" Well he's not mine," Emmeline answered. " I'm looking after him as his father is… indisposed at the time."

The witch gave her a sympathetic look. " One of those people tasked with chasing after those awful runaway death eaters?" Emmeline shrugged and the witched chortled. " My sister's brother-in-law is one of those aurors- awful work having to look through all the corners in England. But they'll catch the bad guys, they always get their justice."

Emmeline nodded and was grateful that they reached their floor. The witch's statement reminded her sharply of Adam's predicament and she brushed the idea away, heading towards the auror offices.

Members of the Wizengamot, old friends of her father, greeted her but Emmeline continued on, reaching the auror office soon enough. She entered and heard an exclamation.

" The little bugger's all grown up!"

Emmeline smiled and looked up to see Frank Longbottom heading over. He had a fresh haircut and looked like hell, but smiled indulgently at Oliver.

" Who's that you've got there?" he asked Oliver.

" Nimby!"

" Nimby?"

Emmeline sighed and smiled at Frank.

" Michael went on a rant back in July about how that new broom company Nimbus is going to be big- invested a lot in it."

Frank chuckled and smiled at her.

" While albeit Michael's stubbornness, you're looking less singed than usual."

" That was one time with a crazy Chinese Fireball egg hatching," Emmeline protested. Frank chuckled and leaned against a nearby door.

" Here to see Alice?"

" Actually, Moody," Emmeline answered. She saw Frank's shocked look and chuckled. " You're forgetting that Moody, Michael, and I are all cousins. Moody's taking Oliver to see great-grandmum Evelyn."

" Gotta start them young to leach the money from their elder relatives," Frank answered in a joking voice. Emmeline gave him an amused expression and he chuckled to himself.

" You've gotten a sense of humor Longbottom," she commented.

" Alice is driving me up the wall with bloody wedding plans," he explained. " I've taken to reading these little pocket joke books they've got lying around everywhere, even in bloody cake stores."

" Well you should have done what me and Beckett did."

" Alice would die before having a wedding planned in a week."

" I thought it was charming," a voice interrupted. Emmeline looked up, seeing Andromeda Tonks.

" Andy," she greeted warmly.

" What bring you back to England," Andromeda asked, smiling at the sight of little Oliver.

Emmeline's sudden good mood was destroyed by the reminder and she tugged on one of her chestnut curls.

" A friend isn't doing so well," she explained. " He hasn't gotten any family to be there."

Andromeda nodded and glanced down at Oliver.

" Well if you need someone to look after the little guy, Ted and I would be more than willing- With Dora back at school we're a little lonely."

" Actually-"

Before Emmeline could answer, her, a voice, interrupted.

" This isn't social hour- you'd be working at Witch Weekly if you wanted to spend your time gossiping. Back to work!"

The aurors, looked up to see Alastor Moody. He stood in the doorway of his office and his fake eye twitched, settling on Emmeline's frame.

" We'll see you around, and sorry about your friend," Andromeda murmured before heading back to her own desk. Frank followed, leaving Emmeline with Oliver and Moody.

" I'll take him over to Evelyn's, think Wood would mind if he stayed in the office for an hour?"

Emmeline handed Moody Oliver's large care bag and smiled.

" Ollie's not a pansy, he's spent the last month with dragons, he can handle a couple of aurors."

She looked down to her nephew and godson, brushing a lock of his brown hair back.

" Be good for Uncle Al," she whispered in his ear. "He gets grumpy."

Oliver dribbled on his dragon and Emmeline kissed his cheek before handing him to Moody.

" Take care of him, ok?"

Moody nodded and gave her a direct look.

" You're good at this parenting thing."

Emmeline shrugged and stared at her nephew, who was tugging on the zipper of Moody's jacket.

" Someone's got to do it."

* * *

" Health-wise he's not well," the healer explained, as he walked Emmeline down the hall. " They didn't find it early enough for treatment to be an option, now it's just a matter of waiting."

" And his… state," Emmeline started. " How does that affect things?"

The healer shook his head, taking Emmeline down a right hall.

" It's not as bad as a vegetable state, he's conscious but he's not there."

Emmeline nodded, the healer stopping in front of room 304.

" Mrs. Scamander, he tends to go into fits from the pain, just be ready," the healer advised, before opening the door. Emmeline swallowed hard and looked up.

I can do this, she thought to herself, before following the healer into the room. It was a single room, with a bed and an armchair. A bathroom was attached but Emmeline's eyes flew to the man sitting up in the bed.

The radio played the reports of the recent Bats-Harpies game but no one was listening.

Adam was gaunt, his skin stretched over his skin and Emmeline could see the ridge of his cheekbones. His skin was pale, veins clear underneath.

Adam's messy back hair was cropped close to his head and his mouth was slightly opened, revealing the slight chip in his top front tooth. Emmeline swallowed, her gut clenching at the handcuff around his left arm, keeping him trapped to the bed.

" Adam," the healer said. He didn't respond. " You have a visitor."

After a minute, he looked up and Emmeline met his blue eyes. But there was nothing there. The boy who promised to keep her young was gone. And in his place was a dying body.

Adam looked away and the healer gave Emmeline an apologetic look.

" Can I be alone with him?" she asked. The healer looked conflicted but nodded, stepping from the room, leaving the door a crack open.

Emmeline stepped forward, feeling as though she was walking through waves. Eventually she reached the chair beside his bed and sat in it. It creaked under her weight and she reached forward, catching one of Adam's hands in her own.

" Do you remember me?"

He didn't answer, instead Adam turned his face and stared at her, a blank expression on his face.

" It's me," Emmeline said, her voice cracking slightly. " It's Emmeline."

He didn't answer.

" We were betrothed," she explained. " And in love."

He didn't answer and Emmeline blinked, her eyes watering slightly.

" You promised me something, do- do you remember it?"

He didn't answer and the first tear slipped from Emmeline's eye.

" Adam, you said you'd keep me gold, remember that?"

He didn't answer, and Emmeline felt despair overcome her. A second tear slipped from her eye and she looked down.

He really was gone.

This man in front of her was just a husk of the boy who wanted to keep her safe, but went to the wrong measures to do it.

" It's ok," she finally said, looking up and squeezing his hand. " You don't need to remember those things."

* * *

She returned the next day for visitation hours in Mungos. Emmeline was staying with Evelyn Malfoy and was forced to tolerate the presence of the pregnant and upset Narcissa Malfoy. Luckily for Narcissa, the bun in her oven would get the estate that the government would have otherwise confiscated from the family on the grounds of Abraxas and Lucius's involvements with the Death Eaters. But for now, Narcissa acted as though her entire life had shattered.

She was lucky, Emmeline thought. At least she was alive and eventually would have a reminder of her husband. Others weren't as lucky. Andromeda lost her foot and Jason died. But Narcissa acted as though she was the sole victim of this war.

" Hi."

Adam didn't look up. There were various medical potions on a tray near him and he looked almost worse than the day before.

Emmeline took her seat next to him and pulled something from her bag. She opened the book, and reached for Adam's hand, squeezing it.

At her request, Marlene had sent the Album, along with a few of Adam's old possessions from his days in Hogwarts.

" You used to love photography," Emmeline explained. " Took pictures of everything."

Adam's head turned, and he looked down at the album.

" That's Frank, he's your best mate," she informed him. " He's in auror training right now, I'm not too sure if he knows you're in here."

Emmeline swallowed and pointed to the girl next to Frank in the picture from their sixth year.

" That's Alice, Frank's fiancee. Our friends used to bet on who'd get married first, them or us."

He was silent.

" She's with the Witch Watchers now, likes it there a lot. They're planning their wedding, it's going to be next summer."

He was silent.

" Over there are the twins," she pointed out. " Gid and Fab. Gid's actually somewhere here, he's training to be a healer, and Fabian well he's playing as a beater for Puddlemere United."

" That's Marlene, " Emmeline continued. " She's your little sister. Do- Do you remember her?"

In the picture, Marlene looked like the beautiful girl Emmeline used to be jealous of. Her long raven hair tumbled down her back and she was tucked into Fabian's side, laughing at something Gideon had said.

Marlene was different now. She'd shorn off the long hair and grown up. But she seemed to fade, if not from the world, but Emmeline's. Maybe now, Emmeline had nothing to be jealous of, knowing how Marlene's world was falling apart.

" She's in school, prefect just like you were," Emmeline informed him. She looked up, Adam's eyes empty. " She has- has your eyes."

He was silent.

" Over there's Michael. He was a wanker, but he was our wanker," Emmeline explained. It was almost terrifying to see how much her friends had changed in the past two years. They'd gone from round faced happy children to lanky lost adults. This change, the transition from childhood to adulthood, felt like wandering through a desert, only you didn't know you were in a desert in the first place.

" And there's Lily."

Her finger stopped on Lily's frame in the picture, shaken slightly. She had Jason's smile, Emmeline thought to herself. Although Lily looked nothing like her brother, she reminded Emmeline that Jason was more than someone who'd changed her life- he changed others' too.

" She's been all over the world, used to tell you about the places she's gone."

Adam was silent.

* * *

Her days continued, alternating between visiting Adam and testing the data sent from the research team. It was a cycle, one that Emmeline hated, not for the sake of being trapped, but rather for the sake of being liberated. Because in this cycle, she could remember the past, one she was forced to leave behind when she married Beckett.

" We used to have a prank war on Halloween," she chuckled. " Last year Marlene was soaked in pumpkin juice and Alice hexed Frank's hair pink!"

He was silent of course, staring at the wall. Although she visited everyday, Adam's reactions never changed. But there was always something comforting to Adam's presence, something that felt like freedom and the giddy rush of youth.

" One year," Emmeline recalled. " Frank, Gid, and you set up mistletoe all over the hall- McGonagall had to give Slughorn a kiss, well she kissed his cheek…"

She heard a cough from the door and looked over. Gideon stood, leaning against the doorway, a sheepish expression on his face.

" Heard from Michael you were back," he explained. Emmeline let go of Adam's handing and nodded. She and Gideon had been close, but after school, they drifted apart. Things like that happened, but Emmeline's eyes widened catching the promise ring around his neck.

" Oh yeah," he said sheepishly. " Kates likes me wearing it while she's in school- says it'll keep the birds away."

" Kates?" Emmeline asked in a breathless voice. Gideon nodded, his adam's apple bobbling.

" Katie Michelson, a year below us. She's a hufflepuff," he explained." We're engaged."

" Engaged?"

Gideon's lips stretched up, his lower cracking, but he seemed unaware of it.

" Yeah, asked her back in August."

" She's a seventh year," Emmeline said in a dull tone. " And didn't she have an orgy with her sister and the Chang brothers?"

Gideon's face turned red and he rolled his eyes.

" Good to see you too Emmeline," he snapped, stepping back into the hallway. Emmeline stared at the empty space and sighed.

" They might be our friends," she told Adam. " But they're terribly upset that I left."

* * *

It was November and Oliver was toddling around the great room of Malfoy Manor. Emmeline watched him, analyzing a stack of reports from the research team, a frown on her face. The findings from Iceland didn't correspond with anything she'd seen in previous environments…

" Mummy!"

Her face snapped up, Oliver was standing, staring at her. His toothless mouth spread into a gummy smile.

And suddenly Emmeline was crying. At the sight of her crying, Oliver's face crumpled and he started crying too. She stood up, rushing to him immediately.

" Don't cry," she murmured, picking him up. He continued and Emmeline rubbed his back gently. " I'm just not your mum."

* * *

" So you're not going to make it for the next part?"

Emmeline cupped the muggle phone closer to her ear and sighed.

" Adam's gotten a lot worse, and no one's visiting him. Beck, his sister tried to kill herself for merlin's sake!"

Beckett was silent on the other end and Emmeline pressed her forehead against the cold metal of the telephone booth.

" I love you," she whispered. He was silent for a moment, before coughing.

" I love you too, do what you have to do, we'll get your data for you…"

* * *

" You looked happy," Emmeline noticed. There was a distinct glow surrounding Lily. It was late November and Emmeline decided to pay a visit to her old friends in Hogwarts. Lily had been the only one free to meet, and walked beside her, down the snow-covered streets of Hogsmeade.

" I feel happy," Lily admitted, her cheeks flushing slightly. " I didn't think I'd ever be happy again…"

Emmeline was silent and Lily stopped walking, turning to face her.

" You're happy right?" she asked, her green eyes curious. " Scamander makes you happy?"

Emmeline was silent, her mind grasping for words that seemed to stumble from her grip.

" Sometimes I smile and that's enough."

* * *

She sat on his bed, sometimes bringing her fingers through his hair. Adam remained silent as Emmeline babbled on, telling him about the stars and beyond. She could hear the healers whispering, he didn't have much longer.

But he was her anchor, strangely. He kept her sane in a world where she was eighteen and a boy called her mum. He kept her young, but young in the memories only.

" You used to hate the muggle books I read," she confessed, her eyes faraway. " One time, I got you to read one- one of Hemingway's things. Made you hate them even more- said that muggles were awfully hopeless."

Emmeline felt awfully hopeless now. Perhaps muggles didn't have magic, but magic couldn't cure the pain in her chest from seeing Adam dying before her eyes and watching Oliver grow up without a mother.

* * *

" Up!"

Michael lifted Oliver onto his shoulders andspun him around, the little boy screaming in joy. He was visiting for the weekend from school. Emmeline liked these weekends in particular, it gave her a break from the cycle of alternating between Adam and Oliver.

" He's going to throw up," Emmeline warned. Michael looked over to her with a mischievous look.

" He's a Wood- we're made for the air," he answered. But Oliver spit up on him and Emmeline sat with her grandmother while they cleaned up Oliver.

" That husband of yours doesn't visit," Evelyn Malfoy pointed out. Emmeline shrugged.

" He's got important research," she explained. Evelyn sniffed.

" Nothing is more important than a marriage," she replied. Emmeline rolled her eyes at her grandmother's outdated view and pulled a shirt over Oliver's clean body.

" Look at Narcissa- she's lost her husband but she's staying strong, she's going to raise that boy of hers. Then you've got Marlene McKinnon types, Merlin knows what that girl's parents did to ruin her."

" She's my friend," Emmeline answered. " And she's fine the way she is."

* * *

" We spent Christmas together," she whispered to Adam. His eyes were shut, but he was awake, fists clenched around his blankets from pain. " You used to make me build snow wizards with you."

He was silent and Emmeline hated it.

* * *

" You're not coming home?' she asked in shock. Beckett's face in the fireplace looked bashful and he nodded.

" We're behind track already, most of the crew is willing to stay…"

Emmeline swallowed and wrapped her shawl tightly around her shoulders. She forced them even and smiled weakly.

" I'll give your parents my love, merry Christmas Beck."

Later that night, she curled up on her bed and held a quill and parchment in her hand. A lamp rested on her sidetable, wax dripping down the candle of it.

She waited for the words to come, but only four did.

_Do I love Beckett?_

* * *

" Do you ever go to his tomb?"

" Never," Emmeline answered, sipping from her firewhiskey. Lily traced her finger along the condensation on her own glass of mulled meade.

" I didn't know you drank," Emmeline noted. Lily shrugged and chewed on her lower lip.

" I didn't know you've been here to see Adam," she replied. Emmeline was silent and Lily narrowed her eyes. " Is that particularly smart? Emma you're dragging up old history and you've been doing so we-"

" If by well you mean I'm raising my cousin's son and my husband doesn't want to come and see me, then I guess so…"

Lily was silent, a sad expression on her face.

" I used to think, what if I just got up and left?' she confessed, her voice soft. " Who would miss me? Who'd bother to look? But I guess I cared about who'd never stop forgetting me, instead of who I'd never stop forgetting."

" My giant goes with me wherever I go," Emmeline quoted. Lily was silent, but she looked as though she wanted to say something more.

" You're an acquired taste," Lily replied instead, drinking the rest of her meade. Emmeline's lips quirked up.

" Likewise, now why don't you tell me about that date with Cedric Diggory I've been hearing all about?"

* * *

He was thin, the manacle around his wrist seemed infinitely larger than Adam's thin limb. There were bags under his eyes and his face was blotchy. He looked sick, his body gaunt but still somehow bloated.

Emmeline had turned the radio to another Quidditch game, bringing his old camera and photo album from their seventh year with her this time. She flipped through it, trying desperately to find one moment.

" You'd bring this to classes," she explained, continuing her search. " Got a fight between Cassius Gastor and Natasha Goyle fully photographed."

He was quiet this time, fidgeting with his shirt, sweat sticking to his skin despite the cold weather. Emmeline could hear every annoyed breath, every scrape of the metal of his handcuff around the bed post.

But the sounds suddenly faded, Emmeline's hands numbing and her voice dying off. Shock engulfed her and she lifted the photo album to her eyes.

It didn't make sense.

But Adam did document every single moment in his life.

Her eyes shut, pain hiccuping from her heart, resounding around its empty chambers and her blood.

She'd almost forgotten the way she and Jason used to lean into each other.

The picture was folded and crumpled, Emmeline glanced over at Adam's husk before prying it from the album. She raised it to the light, her eyes narrowed and her fingers digging into the flesh of her palm.

They were standing in the Entrance Hall, Emmeline's figure facing Jason's and Jason's slumped into the wall. Sunlight streamed in from the windows, the light absorbing into their figures.

He was laughing, clearly enthralled by whatever Emmeline was saying. Her hands were in the air, small laughs escaping her lips, before he finally caught her hand. Her face, so much younger in so many ways, relaxed, breaking into a smile that Jason's grin complimented.

Emmeline shove the photo into the album, suddenly feeling winded. She looked up, staring at the ceiling, her fingernails cutting into the skin of her palms.

Tears prickled, and Emmeline's breaths came out ragged. It hit her so hard, seeing him. Remembering Jason was different, because in remembering she had the power. But that photo, the one folded over and over again, had all the power- it had the truth.

Because she could remember him as her friend and leave it there.

But the truth was that Emmeline Vance loved Jason Gastor, and she didn't know if she could love someone like that ever again.

" No."

Emmeline's mind snapped back, a hand at her right hand, longer fingers splayed against her pale ones. She looked up, a tear leaking from her eyes. Adam's gaze was frustrated, but she could see his mouth opened, hurt ringing from his eyes.

She looked down to her palms, her nails had dug into, drawing small bubbles of blood.

" No."

She let go, her hands flushing with color, in relief and Adam looking at her for one single moment. His blue eyes shone and for that moment the old Adam was back. The Adam that stopped her before she could go down a dark path was back, but then he faded.

His hand returned to his side and Adam shut his eyes, dismissing her. Emmeline sat by his side, the blood slowly drying on her hands.

" I loved you," she admitted. " But Jason was everything."

* * *

The day started off normal enough. She woke up, showered and changed, before tending to Oliver. After, she joined Evelyn and Narcissa for breakfast, ignoring Narcissa's spiteful comments and blaming them on pregnancy hormones. Then she'd work on data while playing with Oliver.

" Going to the ball, or are you going to keep working like a single mom?"

She looked up, Narcissa watching her from the door. A hand rested on her stomach and her watery blue eyes were pulled into a sneer. Unlike Narcissa, Emmeline had been invited to some celebration ball the Ministry was hosting in honor of six months with peace.

" Balls are a little Old Regime for me," she replied. " Besides I'm supposed to visit Adam this afternoon."

" That's probably why you're spending the holidays with two widows and an orphan instead of your rich and fit husband," Narcissa goaded. " Visiting your old fiance must be quite the turn off…"

" Oh bugger off- you're just upset that you've been cooped up here for six months."

Narcissa was silent and Emmeline continued her work, thinking the stingy woman was gone.

" I'm 24, pregnant, a widow, and I don't have any money," Narcissa suddenly said. " Meanwhile you're married to a doting husband, have a great career, and can go off and ride a bloody dragon if you wanted to. So tell me, why are you here, torturing yourself over a man who everybody else has forgotten?"

Emmeline looked up, her eyes flashing.

" Because I didn't forget him," she snapped. " I didn't forget Adam or Dorcas or Benjy! I didn't forget about any of them. They're in my head, they're here with me all the bloody time. And you might be eager to sit here and live off of what Evelyn has left, but I'm not. I want to be out there- I want to ride dragons and shag my husband but I can't! I can't forget that we spent our entire lives in a war and now we're just expected to live normal lives."

Her breaths were ragged and Emmeline's hair had slipped from its bun, falling into curls around her face. Narcissa stared at her, wide-eyed, with a look of sudden surprise. Emmeline glared at her and Narcissa finally sighed, her eyes landing on Oliver's babbling form.

" I've spent the last three months trying to figure out why you came back," she admitted. " You're a damn good person Emmeline."

Emmeline was silent, Narcissa looking up and coughing.

" If you're interested in going to the ball, maybe take a night off, then I've got a dress. It's too long on me and it's from my ball days. I reckon it'll fit you," she explained, her eyebrows knitting together. " I'd like us to be friends, I don't have a lot left."

Emmeline was silent.

" Go to the ball, please."

" Why is it so damn important that I go to this ball?" Emmeline interrupted, her face reflecting her annoyance.

" I dunno, you're avoiding your friends I suppose," Narcissa offered. " You've got everything I don't and it's like you're throwing it all away for the past. You won the war, don't you think you deserve a break?"

Emmeline was silent and Narcissa sighed, finally turning from the doorway.

" I'll go, but if your dress is any shade of pink I'll wear a sheet."

* * *

" Firewhiskey," Emmeline informed the bartender, fighting the urge to rub her eyes, in order to avoid smudging the makeup Narcissa had kept on her face. She hadn't been to a ball in ages, but high heels were still uncomfortable, even with jelly spells on her heels.

She also fought the urge to pull the pins out of her hair and to pull the dress higher up on her chest.

" Emma?"

Before turning, Emmeline took a long drink from her glass.

" Lily," she greeted, her eyes softening.

" Haven't seen you in a while," Lily answered, sitting down. She wore her hair down, the curls messy but lovely.

" Adam's not getting better," she explained. " And my research isn't going anywhere."

" Right," Lily said, grabbing the fire whiskey from Emmeline and taking a sip. She caught Emmeline's look and shrugged. " Stuff's not so good on my side either."

Emmeline frowned, recalling how happy Lily had seemed in the past months, in person and letters.

" Why'd you come then?" she asked. Emmeline shrugged and took the glass back, taking a long sip.

" Narcissa practically kicked me out- thought I needed a night to myself."

Lily looked surprised, and ordered a drink.

" Malfoy?"

" Yep, maybe the hormones have got her going nice," Emmeline offered. She glanced back, seeing flashes of familiar faces but no one she would get up and greet.

" Why aren't you with Diggory?" she asked, recalling that Lily had gone on a date with the boy. Lily scoffed and swirled the liquid of her meade.

" Cause Cedric realized that I'm not ok," she confessed, looking up and meeting Emmeline's eyes with a sad smile. " Nobody wants to be with the girl who's lost it all."

Emmeline frowned and tapped her fingers against the bar's surface.

" Sometimes it's ok to not be ok," she answered. " And if a boy can't accept that then he's really not worth it."

" How are you doing?" Lily asked, changing the subject. She looked cold, and rubbed the goosebumps-covered skin of her arms.

" I feel like shit," Emmeline answered. " I'm sitting in a ball, with some of my closest friends in the world, and right now I'd rather be in Adam's room, telling him about who he used to be."

" Then why are you here?"

" Because Adam's going to die and I can't live in the past forever," Emmeline replied. Lily was silent, her eyes going dull and her bottom lip between her teeth.

" I go back all the time," she admitted. " Someone has to remember."

The words echoed, hitting Emmeline hard. She'd said the same thing before, but hearing it from Lily was so different. It was shattering and destroying and consuming. Emmeline wasn't worth the future, she wasn't going to offer anything great with her time. But Lily was young and capable of anything- she had to move on, _she had to_.

" We've got to stop this, Jason wouldn't want us to be trapped there," Emmeline exclaimed. " You've got potential Lily."

" You sound like Professor McGonagal," Lily sniffed.

" I'm trying to help you," Emmeline protested. Lily shook her head and her eyes narrowed.

" You can't help me Emmeline, not when you can't even help yourself out of this hole."

" That wasn't very nice," a voice said from behind them. Emmeline turned, seeing James Potter standing behind Lily. He wore a cautious smile, his hand going around Lily's waist.

" Bugger off Potter," Lily snubbed. " We're sleeping together, you don't need to babysit me."

Emmeline's eyes widened and James gave her an apologetic look.

" Come on Lils," he murmured. " Let's get you home before you say anything you regret."

He tugged her towards him, and Lily let him wrap his cloak around her shoulders. James tucked her into his side and rubbed her back. He wore an amused expression.

" I've never seen Lily drunk before," he confessed to Emmeline.

" Me neither… Always thought she'd be a randy drunk."

James chuckled at this.

" Listen don't take anything she might have said to heart- it's the anniversary of her parents' death today."

" Right," Emmeline coughed, sudden sympathy filling her. She looked James, dead in the eye, and could see something. Beneath the charisma and the image he propped up, there was something in his eyes. It was the way she looked in that picture with Jason…

" Take care of her Po- James," she ordered. He smiled, a toothy one, his eyes flipping down to Lily's drowsy, hiccuping figure.

" I'll never stop," he vowed.

Emmeline nodded and he led Lily from the ball, coaxing her along gently. She watched them, her heart fluttering and shuttering and gasping. Maybe this is why she didn't like being around her friends, they were all so bloody in love.

* * *

She stumbled into Adam's room, late in the night. He was still awake, a book in his lap and a tray with water and potions nearby. She pulled her heels off and he looked up.

He was speechless, but his eyes relaxed and his hands unclenched from their tightly wound fists.

" Hey," she greeted. She'd sobered up, rising to sit on the side of his bed. Emmeline's eyes glowed at the sight of the book in his lap.

" That's a good read."

He was speechless but his eyes said everything. Emmeline pulled the pins from her hair, the caramel and wood locks falling to her ribs. She sighed in relief and faced him, a smile on her face.

" It was snowing today… Big flakes, just like the ones two years ago when I spent Christmas with your family. You got me my first muggle pen that Christmas, I still have it…"

He watched her, his lips in a line but something different.

" Dolohov used to make fun of me for using it," she admitted. " So you hexed his ears. He looked like that muggle elephant- the one with a silly name, for days."

A giggle escaped her lips, exploded into laughter. Her ribs ached but in the good way, the way happiness felt. And she knew that if Adam was her Adam, he'd take a photo of her and probably put it in a dictionary over the definition of happy. And that made her laugh even more.

" I used to hate your camera- you carried it everywhere and took photos of everything. There's a million pictures of me, just fighting with Alice on your camera. I dunno where they are, maybe I can look through your old stuff and find it."

She stopped laughing, her cheeks flushed and Emmeline turned to his side table, finding his old camera. It slipped into her hands and she bent down, curling up and looked through the lens.

" Smile?"

The flash sounded and she dropped it, waiting for a photo to come out. One slipped out and she hung the camera around her neck, moving closer to Adam and showing him the photo. He smelled like the mint of his medicines but Emmeline didn't mind.

" That's you," she said. " You're Adam McKinnon and you did what you thought was right and you weren't sure about everything and you made the wrong choice. And that's not ok."

And she was crying again, not because her life was so screwed up or because Adam was going to die. Emmeline Vance cried because the Adam McKinnon who broke her heart was human and she didn't realize that sometimes people did horrible things and when they died, you weren't a horrible person for not forgiven them. She didn't forgive him and that was ok.

" Smile."

She was silent and Adam was looking at her, his eyes shining and his lips pulled up, his chipped tooth revealed.

Emmeline's eyes, probably red and puffy were rubbed of tears, her makeup smearing and her nose red. But her lips pulled up and she nodded.

" Smile."

And it was clear to her, maybe happy wasn't supposed to be pretty. Maybe it was messy and maybe it was chaotic and maybe there was no picture dictionary definition of happy.

But all Emmeline knew is that she felt this way with a quill in her hand. She felt this way laughing at one of Frank's corny jokes. She felt this way on a girls' night with Marlene and Lily. She felt this way with Jason.

She had turned to the past, trying to find this feeling again, but instead Emmeline found it in the present. She found happiness is a world without Jason and in a world where her friends didn't know her anymore. She found it in a world where she no longer felt anything when she picked up a quill. She found it, a glowing beacon, in all of the darkness.

" This is really what happy feels like," she whispered.

* * *

Adam McKinnon died that night, his heart giving out and Emmeline Vance asleep in her bed, hundreds of miles away.

* * *

Part 2: After

" Sometimes we go out, looking for something, only to find something entirely different, but worth it."

* * *

1 month later

" Emmeline and I need a few more weeks here," Frederick explained. " We've both got some numbers that reject our entire experiments!"

" We need to move on," Kiera argued. " We're already a week behind the research schedule, thanks to taking a week off for Christmas."

" Some of us have families that we didn't drive off with our constant bitching," Winston replied.

Emmeline watched as twelve of the most renowned magizoologists of her generation argued. She drummed her fingers along the table's edge, a bored expression on her face.

" Enough!"

Beckett stood, his face flashing with rage, silencing the entire team. His eyes sought hers and he spoke.

" Vance and Frederick are going to stay here for however long they need," he declared. " The rest of us will move on to Canada and they can meet us there when they're done."

Immediately protests broke out.

" Oi! You wouldn't let me and Parks do that in Spain!"

" This is complete bullshite!"

" You're just trying to get away from Vance!"

Beckett was silent, his eyes on her figure and the group continued screaming. Emmeline stared back, not knowing what to say. She hadn't spoke to him, not once since Adam's funeral, when she told him that she needed some space.

They had fought, one of the worst fights Emmeline had ever had. And it ended, him pleaing that she at least return and finish her work. She'd agreed.

But she was empty. Even flying didn't bring her anything anymore.

" What do you think Emmeline?"

She glanced towards the group and cleared her throat.

" Although these are unusually circumstances for our research, staying in the states might do the most benefit for mine and Frederick's work," she replied. " If we leave the research with these conclusions, then our experiments will have to be rejected."

" So it's done," Beckett finished. " Emmeline and Frederick will remain here until they're done."

His eyes averted from her own, and Emmeline felt guilt for the relief flooding into her veins. She didn't want to spend another month, seeing Beckett walk around eggshells in her presence.

* * *

Winter was cold, colder than most Emmeline had experienced before. She trudged forward, through the cabins of the research lab, deep in the Rocky Mountain range. After a long day, studying the younger dragons, she longed to return to her own cabin.

The research team had left a week ago, leaving Emmeline with Frederick Meyer, an expert in flight patterns. Although his research strayed from her topic, he did meet her for lunch and breakfast.

But she was subdued, she wasn't the old Emmeline. The old Emmeline would give him warm smiles and he'd be her friend in a matter of a few laughs. Simply, she didn't see the point in this anymore.

Stumbling in, from the biting storm, Emmeline shivered and saw a stack of letters at her table. She thumped over, stripping off her coat and scarf. On top of the pile was a letter from Narcissa. She read through it, her lips pulling up at the commentary Narcissa offered onto what was happening since she had left.

Evelyn Malfoy was now looking after Oliver, after Emmeline convinced Michael that the boy would be better off in a more stable situation. Although Emmeline missed the baby, she did find comfort in the moments spent to herself. But that comfort was nothing compared to the truth.

She dropped the letter and her face fell, seeing the wedding invitation to Alice and Frank's. After Adam's death, Alice had decided to pull her out as a bridesmaid, saying that Emmeline wasn't in the mindset to help out with a wedding.

In truth, Emmeline knew they'd grown apart. She hadn't written her old friends in weeks. They sent letters, asking if she wanted to come back and stay with him or talk. But they were more concerned about her than the fact that their friend had died.

She didn't fall back in love with Adam, but he made her learn how to be happy again, instead of remembering what used to make her happy. And somehow, that was everything.

But then he was gone and Emmeline was grasping to find something, something that made her feel happy.

Now things were different, she was done not being ok- she wanted to find it. She wanted that feeling more than anything.

* * *

Her days turned, split between her research and seeing the states. Adam had wanted to travel and there was really something amazing to the world, to the people and the things they did. She wanted to see it all, she wanted to feel the world.

She watched dragon eggs hatch and she attended a peace rally in New York. She went to the biggest library the Wizarding World had and Emmeline even went with Frederick to a Quadpod game.

But she wasn't happy.

* * *

She got a new journal and wrote everything down. With Adam's pen in one hand, Emmeline scrawled down her days, her thoughts, and the stories she wanted to create.

But it didn't engulf her.

* * *

Winter faded, and spring woke from it. Emmeline went to watch the sunrise in Alaska and she went to see flowers bloom for the first time in ten years in a wizarding botanical garden. She sent her winter clothing home and went and got new spring clothing.

She got a tattoo, a small sun on the inside of her hipbone. She remembered, but she didn't lose herself in the past.

* * *

It was Jason's birthday and she was spending it attending a dinner hosted by the elite in the American Wizarding World. Emmeline drifted from the company, they were discussing the lack of people to fill jobs as a result of the Vanishing Illness epidemic that ended completely only months ago. She found herself wandering down the halls of the host's house, her dress hitting the floor.

A loud cry broke Emmeline's muddled thoughts and she frowned, instinctively entering a room. A baby sat up in a crib, her bright blue eyes soaked in tears. From raising Oliver, Emmeline found herself suddenly at the crib, raising the baby into her arms.

" You must be awfully upset," she murmured, comforting the crying infant, who didn't look older than four months. " Mummy and daddy must be at the dinner."

" Actually they're dead."

She whirled around, a familiar face in front of her. One of the American aurors who'd come to the battle of Hogwarts last spring stood, leaned against the frame of the door. She frowned at him, trying to recognize him.

" You're the DADA teacher at Hogwarts," she remembered. The man nodded, his lips twitching up.

" Yes I am, and you're Emmeline Vance, the girl my seventh years were fighting about the other day," he replied. Emmeline raised a brow and he chuckled. " Lily Evans is quite worried about you- she's quite intent that you return her letters."

" Oh," Emmeline answered, softly as the cooing baby tugged on the fabric of her dress. " I'm sorry about that…"

" It's Marcus," the man answered. " Marcus Clarke."

Emmeline nodded and the baby let out a sharp noise, demanding attention.

" She's an orphan from the epidemic," he explained. " Alexander and Iva offered to house her until they could find an orphanage for her- they'd take her in but both are our version of Unspeakables, a bit of nasty work…"

" So she's going to go to an orphanage?" Emmeline asked, frowning at the baby in her arms. " That's horrible!"

" There's too many orphans from the war and epidemic for everybody to adopt all of them," Marcus answered. Emmeline was silent, staring into the baby's eyes.

The girl had a mop of blonde hair and startling blue eyes. Emmeline could see the hair, darkening in some spots and her lips pulled up. She could see this baby turning into a young lady, her hair become a dark shade of blonde or a light shade of brown. She could see this girl, shouting in joy over an acceptance to Hogwarts letter, and letters in a scrawled hand telling her all about the house she'd been sorted into. She could see this girl, blushing in front of her first crush. She could see her become a delicate young lady or a stubborn independent one. She could see this girl, her eyes filled with love.

" What's her name?"

" Kathryn, Kathryn Bell."

" Katie," Emmeline murmured, bringing her forehead close to the baby's. " How would you like to have a mum?"

Katie laughed, her eyes exploding into color, and Emmeline's heart gasped and shuddered and happiness seemed to echo of the walls of her veins.

This is what happy felt like.

* * *

" You adopted a baby."

Beckett stared at her, wide-eyed and Emmeline nodded. She was back in England, having wrapped up her research, determining an easy solution to the problem that plagued her since starting it. Emmeline currently stood in an empty room in the house that Beckett had built for them once they were done with the trip, only she'd come a month earlier than planned.

" Her name's Katie, Katie Bell, but the adoption people said we should tack one of our names on, it could help her when she's older. Her parents are Healers, got contaminated saving lives. I was thinking she could take your name, or mine or both…"

" Vance," Beckett said in a soft voice. " You're nineteen."

" I know my age Beck," Emmeline answered, trying to assemble a baby seat at the table.

" I'm saying that you're still a kid- you're too young to be a mum!"

" I raised Oliver," Emmeline answered, her eyes narrowing. Beckett ran a hand through his hair and held his hand over his mouth.

" That's different, damnit Emmeline!"

She stopped and Beckett met her gaze with a sorrowful one.

" I've waited two months Vance- no I've been waiting for almost a year," he whispered. " I'm giving you space because what that's what you wanted. And I love you Emmeline, hell I'll love Katie Bell Vance Scamander or whatever her name is going to be. But I need to know if you're going to wake up one day and realize that you're not happy."

Emmeline was silent, before reaching up and brushing Beckett's hair back.

" I love you," she confessed. " I know I haven't said it in a long time, but I do. You make me happy Beck. But I couldn't let you make me happy until I figured some stuff out and I did but then Adam died and I felt like I had to refigure out stuff. I had to figure out what was going to give me purpose again, because dragons for you isn't dragons for me. And it was Adam, and then I found Katie and she's everything and-"

She was cut off, Beckett's lips on hers, gently but demanding. Emmeline melted into it and he bowed out.

" I married you for a reason Emmeline Vance," he explained. " You might have stayed an acromantula, but you're human, you can break and it's ok to break."

" I know that now," she murmured back. Beckett nodded and smiled.

" I love you, and I knew going into this that you might not need me to get back from the war," Beckett continued. " I knew, even though it was so painful, that it was going to be hard to come back from it. I knew Emmeline, but I also knew that one day you'd come back, better than ever."

Emmeline was silent and Beckett chuckled.

" We're not really going to name her Katie Bell Vance Scamander are we?" he asked. " Because that's quite the mouthful…"

" Katie Bell sounds great," Emmeline admitted.

" I like the sound of that," Beckett answered, holding her gaze. Emmeline smiled, her heart exuding happiness.

And this moment, this acceptance and truth is what happiness felt like.

* * *

" You'll be the godparents right?"

Lily and Michael looked up, their eyes wide. Emmeline smiled at the pair and Lily flushed.

" Emma of course," she answered, holding Katie even closer as Michael played with her.

" Wouldn't want anyone else to do it," Michael answered. Emmeline nodded and took a sip from her cup of tea. The pair had stopped by one May evening, informing Emmeline they needed a break from the stress of cramming for NEWTs, but moreso to meet Emmeline's daughter.

" She and Oliver are going to be best friends," Michael declared, a flash in his eyes. " She's going to be the perfect little chaser!"

" Stay away from my daughter Wood," Emmeline answered. " I don't need her turning into a mini you."

" Just wait and see Vance," Michael answered. " She'll be riding a broom before she's walking!"

And this, this moment with her two best friends is what happy felt like.

* * *

" Heard you'd come back early from your research," a voice said from behind. Emmeline turned and smiled, Alice and Frank were standing with the twins. She'd come into a store in Diagon Alley, trying to find fresh fruit, only to stumble onto her friends.

" Beckett's still there, wrapping up stuff," she explained, adjusting Katie's stroller. " he'll be back in a month."

" I didn't know you were with Oliver," Alice cooed, dropping lower to pull the hood of the stroller back. Her eyes went wide at the sight of the sleeping baby in the stroller. " That's not Oliver…"

" Guys," Emmeline said, a smile on her face. " This is Katie Bell, she's my daughter."

And this is what happy felt like, the words daughter wrapped between her teeth, exploding out.

* * *

_In conclusion, despite the need for studying dragons, to enhance the Wizarding World, dragons in captivity are found to retain their unique flying patterns when given the most freedom. This, not only preserves the validity of any experiment conducted on them, but also treats the beasts just, for their service to wizarding kind._

_The paper of Emmeline Vance, researcher on the paper "flying patterns of dragons in captivity", was arguable the last piece of evidence submitted before the International Dragon Research Committee, in regards to the new law past on Monday. _

Seeing words, quoted from her research paper, smacked on the cover of the Daily Profit, the final piece in establishing a new law regarding the international conditions of dragon research, forbidding keeping dragons in cages at any time, besides transportation, was what excitement felt like.

But seeing Katie crawl for the first time is what happy felt like.

* * *

Alice and Frank were getting married in the large backyard to the Weasley burrow. Emmeline sat, Katie in her lap and Beckett on her side, watching as her friends became husband and wife. She could see Lily, standing amongst the bridesmaids, her eyes on someone in the seats not on the bride and groom. Emmeline could even see Marlene, a ring on her finger and a glow surrounding her.

After the ceremony, she took Katie through a nearby flower meadow as Beckett talked with Sirius Black and Remus Lupin about his own paper. Emmeline sat on the ground, Katie on a blanket in front of her, watching the flowers sway in the summer breeze.

A year before, Emmeline's world had collapsed, but now in this moment she had everything. She set out looking for closure, only to find something better in her time with Adam.

" Thank you," Emmeline whispered. The breeze picked up, brushing her hair back. The old Emmeline would hear Jason's laugh in the wind or open her eyes to find the beauty Adam tried to capture.

But the new Emmeline found joy in other things. The new Emmeline recognized that sometimes you were not supposed to be happy, and that was ok. Because life wasn't going to be alright all the time, but that didn't mean it had to be bad all the time.

Happiness was a fickle creature, but just like the dragons Emmeline studied, people couldn't try and contain it and force it. Happiness was natural and it would come and go. Accepting that changed Emmeline's life.

" Mummy!" Katie suddenly screeched.

" I'm your mummy," Emmeline said, more to herself than the baby, suddenly caught in a flurry of emotions. Her lips pulled her, a crooked smile on her face as she drank in this feeling, not caring when it would return, but enjoying the moment of it.

And that's what happiness was.

The End.

* * *

Just a little project I was working on. Don't worry, there's more to come with The Sun Also Rises, which this gives hinting teasers at.

R&amp;R

-Rin


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